Jack the Ripper - He Was a Twat, Wasn't He?

What is it about the Whitechapel Murders of the late nineteenth century that fascinates us so much? Why does the man we’ve come to know as Jack the Ripper still capture our imaginations more than a hundred years after his horrific crimes took place?

I guess some might say the answer lies in the question, because the murders were horrific. And we like that, don’t we? That’s why horror movies have always been so popular; there’s something inherently wrong with us all that makes us enjoy the macabre and the gruesome.

I am macabre and gruesome, so it’s natural that I should be fascinated by this monster. Make no mistake – I consider him a monster; one that should have been captured, flayed, hung, drawn and quartered. Anybody who kills innocents should be treated this way, because that’s what we do to animals, and these people are animals.

Conventional theories point to there being five Ripper victims, starting with Mary Ann Nichols on 31^st August 1888 and finishing with the unholy act of butchery performed on Mary Jane Kelly on 9^th November 1888.

Mortuary picture of Martha Tabram

There’s a growing consensus that Martha Tabram, murdered on 7^th August 1888, was his first victim. The evidence of the post-mortem would certainly add weight to this theory since it tells the story of a savage killing in which Martha was stabbed 39 times, with the focus being on the breasts, belly and groin area.

Some have suggested that his first victim was a mysterious figure known as “Fairy Fay”. She was killed on Boxing Night 1887 in an alleyway off Commercial Street. She had apparently been taking a short-cut home from a pub in Mitre Square. The problem is; there is as yet no evidence to back it up. Fay’s name was just suggested by two authors, despite there being no doctor’s report on the murder and nothing concrete to link it to the Ripper Murders.

Anyway; I digress. The point is that whoever “Jack the Ripper” was, he was a cunt. The reason I’m writing about it now is that we’ve witnessed some rather high profile cuntery of late. There was the killing of two unarmed black men in the US; the coffee-shop siege in Australia; the horrific slaughter of more than a hundred children in Pakistan; an off duty policeman here in the UK, and two in the US.

I thought this was supposed to be Christmas. Isn’t this supposed to be the season of peace and goodwill to all men? I knew we’d strayed off the track a bit in recent times; but this is going off on a whole different fucking tangent.

Maybe the point I’m trying to make is that there’s a little bit of Jack the Ripper in all of us. The vast majority keep it buried deep down inside, along with their homosexual tendencies, closet racism and love of reality shows. But lately it seems a few more people are letting that little bit of Jack rise to the surface. I know this sounds hypocritical coming from one as full of bitterness and loathing as I, but you lot out there need to look at yourselves; make sure your “Jack” bit is kept deep down inside.