What's the Point of Christmas?

It's supposed to be Jesus's birthday, yet "Happy Birthday to You" is not a Christmas Carol. Also, if it's Jesus's birthday, why's everyone else getting presents? You don't go to somebody's birthday party and give presents to everybody else. It doesn't make sense. All the religion has gone out of Christmas; nobody celebrates Jesus's birthday anymore, so why bother having it on the same day every year? Why don't we move it about a bit; have it on days that will cheer us up. Like at the end of the six weeks' holiday, when the kids have gone to school, say, 'I'm knackered after that lot. I know - I'll celebrate Christmas; stick some tinsel round and put the tree up.'
 Why do we have Christmas trees? Jesus was born in a barn, wasn't he? So what's the significance of a tree? He wasn't born in a bird's nest. If he was born in a barn, why don't we just stick a cow in the corner of the room? That would come in handy as well, because you wouldn't run out of milk for the tea when people come round for Christmas. They could just help themselves; give them a cuppa and say, 'Here you go - just take a couple of squirts from the cow there.' If we did that, then the Jehovah's Witnesses could join in as well. They're a bunch of miserable bastards aren't they. You give them a Christmas card and they say, 'I don't celebrate Christmas.' Well, if we started just having a cow in the corner of the room we wouldn't get that. And when it's all over you haven't got some bloody great tree to take down. You just get it shot and you're sorted for meat for at least six months. Christmas cards - nobody sent Jesus one, so why do we have to send them out every year? When the three wise men came to visit him they didn't bring cards. And that's another thing - the three wise men came to see him because he was supposed to be the son of God. I don't think I buy that. If you're the son of God, then you're all-powerful. So why would you have your birthday and Christmas on the same day? He should have had his birthday in June, so there's plenty of time between the two. Also, if he had his birthday in June then it would be the summer, and he could go on holiday for his birthday. Even better - he wouldn't have had to be born in a barn, because the hotels wouldn't have all been full up for Christmas. He could have had a cot, a midwife and everything. Oh yes - the three wise men. Come off it! Right - if your missus had a baby and three blokes came around saying they'd come to praise it you'd tell them to fuck off before you call the coppers. You'd think they were nutters or something. And what's with the presents they brought: Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. Gold - yeah; fair enough. But Frankincense - that's like them smoking stick things. That can't be good for the baby; breathing in smoke and that. What were they thinking? And Myrrh - what's that? An ointment. So they've brought a cheap Aldi version of Sudacrem. If you want to bring presents for a newborn baby bring some baby-grows; put some money towards the pram, or bring a teddy bear; something like that. Christmas doesn't even make sense.