He's a grumpy, miserable, joyless, cantankerous Manc git - and I love him. His name's Karl Pilkington, and I first became aware of his existence in the fantastic Sky 1 program - An Idiot Abroad. He's everything you associate with the British male - he's xenophobic, closed to new experiences, abrasive and brusque.
Karl's outlook on life is as refreshing as it is mental. This is a man who - if he was granted a super power - would choose the power to spot bullshit. His opinion on Buy One Get One Free offers? If I want two, I'll buy two; don't give me a free one 'cos it'll wind up in the bin.
He's portrayed as an idiot, but I don't buy it. This man is a lot smarter than you might think. After all, he's made an estimated £3 million from the Idiot Abroad programs. Maybe not such an idiot after all. He's also had two bestselling novels on the back of it. I would say Mr Pilkington is actually quite shrewd; and good luck to him. I'd do exactly the same in his position. For £3 million you could call me an idiot if you wanted. You could call me anything you like. You could call me a fat poof with a very small penis, and for that kind of money I will just smile and say thank you.
It must be amazing to spend an hour in his company; even better to go travelling with him and hear what he has to say about the things you see. Don't forget, this is a man who described the Pyramids as a game of Jenga got out of hand. I would actually pay to have a meal with this man and just sit there, listening to him hold forth on the world and everything in it that annoys him.
The latest series of AIB is said to be the last, but I sincerely hope it isn't. I am addicted to Karl Pilkington. He makes me glad to be grumpy. I'd be quite depressed if I didn't get to listen to his ramblings anymore. I might be looking for a self-help book. Karl's would be good, because he said his self-help book would only be one page long, and in the middle of that one page it would say, "Stop moaning and get on with it".
Simple, yet profound and beautiful.
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