Christmas

When I was a kid I loved Christmas. It was a magical time full of joy, great presents, seeing family members that you didn't see all year. We had bags of Fun Size sweets; we had Roses and Quality Street. Satsumas; Christmas pudding. The Ronco ads were on television; Scrooge; blockbuster movies that we could only watch at Christmas because this was in the time before videos and DVDs. This was the time when Disney was truly magical. You only saw clips of Disney movies on television programmes, you saw the movies at the cinema, and some of the others would be on television at Christmas. God, those were the days! Now, Christmas is just that time of year when I have my nose rubbed into all the people I've lost over the years. I dread Christmas. I wish it didn't exist. I don't wish misery on others, I just wish I didn't have to go through it. I wish I could just hibernate from about mid-November until mid-January. They say the suicide rate goes up at Christmas, and I can see why. Even before I fell out of love with Christmas entirely I used to have to take a moment during putting up the decorations to hide away and cry for my parents because they aren't here anymore. I ask you - can you blame me for not wanting to celebrate Christmas anymore? What pleasure can I possibly derive from an event that highlights the fact that most of the people I love are not here anymore. For those who still love Christmas, I wish all the best for the season. I wish joy and happiness, and genuinely hope you have fun. As for me, I will avoid the songs I used to love. I will pass on the Roses and Quality Street, and I will abstain from the Disney movies. Merry-fucking-Christmas.