Last Christmas

What would you do if you knew that this was going to be your last Christmas? My dad died in 2004, and I remember the Christmas before, in a quiet moment between just us two, he started talking about what was going to happen to all the decorations when he had gone. He also bought lavish presents that year, much to everyone's surprise. At the time, we just thought he was softening in his old age. But with the benefit of hindsight I realised that he knew it was his last Christmas. So what would you do if it was yours? Top of my list by a mile would be to spend as much time as humanly possible with my children. I wouldn't have to spend extra money on presents for them because I've always spent as much as possible on them anyway. One thing I absolutely would not do is forgive those who had wronged me over the years. Why should I? If my forgiveness meant anything to them they would have been at my door seeking it a long time ago. I haven't spoken to my brothers since our mother died in 2007. They have made no attempt to build bridges between us, even though they have been aware of my troubles over the last five years. So why would I want to waste a single moment of my last Christmas on them? I would make it a party - the whole time. I would reminisce over Christmases past. But the tragedy of the whole thing is that I would be doing it all for my kids. The party, the time spent, the memories, would all be for them. Inside I would be dying a million heartbreaks. But I would wear that mask of Christmas cheer for them. Let's face it - if it wasn't for them, then who would it be for anyway? So, think about it - what would you do if this was your last Christmas? Why not make a list? Then, why don't you go out and do it. There's no reason why you should languish as I do. Go on - celebrate this Christmas as if it's going to be your last.