I decided to read up about how other people celebrate Christmas, and some of the things I read were mental!
In Austria, for instance, they have this thing called Krampus Night. Krampus is supposed to be Santa's evil twin, and on 6th December he goes out and beats the children who were naughty. Austrians celebrate Krampus Night by dressing up in terrifying demon masks, getting drunk and then going out hitting people with sticks. Whatever happened to a lump of coal in your Christmas stocking?
Then you've got places like Spain, Portugal and Italy, who put together Nativity scenes with Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus. All good so far. But then they add the "Caganer". This is a tradition they have had for hundreds of years. The English translation of Caganer is "Shitter". Yep - in these countries, their Nativity scene has the added bonus of a figurine depicting a bloke taking a dump, complete with pile of shit around his ankles. Ah yes! Nothing says Christmas like some weirdo emptying his arse in the corner.
The Catalonians take this a little further. They have the Caga Tio - the pooping log. Oh, it gets worse! They hollow out a log and put it on a little stand with four legs. They paint a face on one end; "feed" it and cover it with a blanket so it doesn't get cold. On Christmas Eve, the pooping log is put in the fireplace and ordered to poop while people beat it with sticks and sing a song which basically tells the log that if it doesn't poop then it will get a beating. Nuts and sweets come out as it is beaten, and finally something like an onion or a bulb of garlic will fall out. And people say we British like toilet humour...???
In Japan, the tradition for many people is to have KFC for Christmas dinner. WTF?
I will never complain about having to sit through the Queen's speech again!
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