Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road

The customary answer is: to get to the other side.
But I wonder if there’s more to the story than that. Was there something more sinister in the chicken’s journey from one side of the road to the other?
While it’s not beyond the realms of possibility for a chicken to cross the road, it’s not very likely, is it? How often do you even see one walking down the street? I will say, though, I did see one wandering around a Toy’s R Us car park once, and I found myself wondering if he’d lost his car.
Anyway, if you can suspend disbelief long enough to imagine a chicken walking down the street – maybe doing a bit of shopping, paying some bills, drawing money out of the bank – we can break this down.
So, there he is – our chicken. We’ll call him Dave for convenience.
So, Dave’s walking down the street. The dirty bastard’s looking up all the women’s skirts as they pass. He throws some shit at KFC’s windows before laying a wreath on the path outside. He once brought a marker pen to vandalise the picture of the Colonel, but then he realised he already had glasses, a beard and a moustache.
Okay, the scene’s set. It might not be great but I never said I was William Shakespeare, so bugger off.
Right, so Dave’s walking down the street. I like to imagine him striding along like John Travolta at the start of Saturday Night Fever with Stayin’ Alive playing in the background.
‘Well you can tell by the way I use my squawk…’
Now, for some reason, Dave now decides to cross the road. Why?
Actually, before we get to the why, maybe we should look at the how. Does he just dart across and hope for the best? Does he do the Green Cross Code and wait away from the kerb and away from parked cars until a sufficient gap appears in traffic then walks – not runs – across? Or does he go to a pelican crossing?
There’s the how…now for the why.
All the stuff I’ve been babbling about before is just nonsense; mere whimsy. Of course there’s no reason why a chicken should be walking down the street – they’re domesticated birds, bred for food. So, there’s no reason why they should be crossing the road either. That is…unless they’re up to something.
Think about it – what other reason can they have? They must be up to no good.
They can’t be going over there to do some shopping – we’ve already established that. They can’t be going to do some charity work. They can’t be helping an old lady cross the road.
So, why did the chicken cross the road…?