Sunday, 24 May 2015

You Fat Bastard

I’m reading Royston Vasey’s autobiography at the moment. Most people will probably know him by his stage name, Roy “Chubby” Brown.

Now, I’m actually a fan of Chubby. I used to listen to his shows on bootleg tapes as a kid in the seventies and eighties. Yeah, his language is foul; his humour can be bordering on the racist, homophobic and misogynistic at times. However, that’s all it is; humour, and there are times when Chubby is very funny.

Although I’m only a few chapters into the book, I have to confess to a few misgivings with it. The first is how he starts every chapter by talking about his battle with throat cancer. I watched my dad die of that horrible disease, so I’d never dream of trivialising it or understanding the devastating effect it can have on people’s lives. But by reminding us about it at the start of every chapter, it feels like a desperate attempt to garner sympathy before he tells us more tales of what a little shit he was. There’s no link between the cancer stuff and the chapter that follows. I’ve tried to make up my own, but these attempts have been tenuous at best, and required viewing the language used in its broadest terms.

The names of the chapters themselves don’t really fit either. For example, the one called “mother love”, has precious little about his mother in it. It just starts with a bit about the cancer again, then a few passages about his mother and how she walked out on her family before we get more tales about what a profoundly unpleasant kid he was.

If you wanted to put a positive spin on it, you might say that at least he’s honest. He’s giving it to us, warts and all, even if it does paint him in a poor light.

But I’m not sure I believe everything he says. There seem to be discrepancies – like saying he lived in a 2-bedroom house, and when his dad moved his girlfriend and her 5 kids in, the kids had his room, and he had the box room. So, where did his dad and his girlfriend sleep? He talks about “honour among thieves”, and “fair game”, and then tells us how he systematically stole from one of his friends. Also, he seemed to squeeze a lot into his fifteenth year, such as trying to join the army, running away from home, getting and losing at least half a dozen jobs, buying a car with his friend and driving it to Redcar; and when the car ran out of petrol they left it, saying they would go back the next door with a can of petrol and pick it up again. We’re then supposed to believe they didn’t know that they’d left it on a railway track. Also that year he ended up in a children’s home; got a job driving a dump truck around a building site; driving an old ambulance with which he ferried workers around another site. I could go on and on, and I’m not even halfway through the book yet.

As I said, I’m a fan of Chubby Brown. But that Royston Vasey bloke seems a right twat; and a bullshit artist as well.

No comments:

Post a Comment