Invisible Man

Inclusion is an illusion.

I became invisible a few years ago. People stopped seeing me. They stopped hearing my voice. I became a non-person. Now I’m just a well-kept secret known only to my nearest and dearest.

Anyone stumbling across my little blog here might briefly wonder if I’m a scientist who has developed a new magical disappearing potion. Sadly, no; my disappearance wasn’t of my own making. Someone else imposed it upon me. It was a remarkable trick – I was rendered disabled by a drunk driver and this in turn made me disappear.

Fortunately for me, I’m happy to live in the shadows. I take comfort in my self-imposed exile and find solace in my disengagement from society. My home is now my sanctuary, and entry is by invitation only.

There’s nothing for me in the outside world anymore. I already spend my days racked with physical and emotional pain. Why seek to increase my misery?

When we’re born, we’re given a tank of energy for dealing with the trials of life. Some are bigger than others. Mine must have been huge, but now it’s empty, and it cannot be refilled. Therefore, I have no fight left in me. I no longer have the fuel to travel along life’s bumpy roads.

Some might say I can’t possibly be happy in my current situation. To them I say happiness is merely a point on the scale of human misery. When your life has been spent in a state of magnitude 10 on the scale, a move to magnitude 8 can be considered a marked improvement. So, in effect, I’m comparatively happy since my position on the scale has improved.

Nobody out there misses me. Why would they? I’m nothing to anyone and I’m in nobody’s debt. There’s absolutely no demand for my limited skills, and no one seeks an audience to engage me in some sparkling repartee.

Numerous prescription medicines help me to control my pain, and maintain at least some semblance of sanity. I have prescriptions which try to regulate a bodily system sent spiralling out of control by a disease few doctors have ever heard of and fewer still understand. Unfortunately for me, it is a tragic failing of our educated classes that their ignorance grows in line with their knowledge, and when they speak from the former it’s people like me who pay the price.

There is an irony about my medication that is not lost on me. I have always sworn to and maintained a policy of absolute abstinence regarding recreational drugs – even Cannabis – yet I now follow a daily medicinal regime wherein I take enough prescription drugs to drop a horse.

I’m going to stay here in the shadows where nobody can see me. I won’t invite you to join me because I have nothing to offer but misery, bile and hatred. But that’s my problem, and I won’t burden you with it.

Well, thank you very much for reading this nonsensical raving. I sincerely apologise if it has increased your misery score – that was not my intent.

Good luck to you, and come back soon if you’ve nothing better to do. I’ve always got more nonsense to impart.