World Cup Woes

The World Cup is only a few months away, and the excitement's already building. Unfortunately, since I was born after England's 1966 victory, my experience of the World Cup has been very much like the Paris Hilton sex tape - a lot of anticipation, a huge build-up, ultimately leading to disappointment.
When you look at the England team-sheet, we should beat any team on the planet. We have world class players all over the field with the likes of Rooney, Milner, Crouch, Terry and Ferdinand.
England's problem, though, is that they're too honest for their own good. They don't dive enough. There are no Cristiano Ronaldo's or Arjen Robbens in the England team. Not for them the theatrical diving and melodramatic writhing on the floor, feigning injury only to jump to their feet as soon as the ball comes near them. Not for them the dirty tricks, trying to get other players booked or sent off.
I'm not saying England should start doing all that stuff. In fact, I'm quite proud of the fact that they don't. But I think it's time people started coming down hard on the cheats.
Players should be allowed to give them a good kicking for diving, especially the ones like Robben, who go flying onto the floor if there's even a strong gust of wind. While he's there, writhing on the floor as if he has just been kneecapped, someone should go over and kick him in the balls and say, "Yeah! Now moan, you cheating bastard!"
These cheats are ruining the game of football. It's supposed to be a man's game and they're acting like utter poofs.
Look at John Terry: Whatever his behaviour off the pitch, when he's on it you have to knock him out cold to put him down. Wayne Rooney - you have to break his foot.
Then look at Cristiano Ronaldo: You only have to breathe on him wrong and he goes down like he's been shot. It's a disgrace.
Anyway, hope springs eternal, as they say, so I'll be watching every game and cheering our boys on. But at the first sign of a penalty shoot out I'm throwing the telly out of the window.