Yeah, I know that's a shitty title. It sounds like something you'd find in The Sun toilet-paper. But, in my defence, it's fucking hot where I am and it's pissing me off.
I hate hot weather. I'm fat and sedentary, so I sit here, sweating like a seventies celebrity when he sees a police car.
Anyway; David Icke - what a twat.
This funny little man with the hairstyle that the eighties forgot and would prefer not to be reminded of, sets himself up as a sort of dumpy, messianic, enlightened one. With all the gravitas of the eponymous hero in The Life of Brian he performs his own little Sermon on the Mount to misguided paying customers, most of whom go there just so they can mock him afterwards.
So, this self-aggrandising prick stands there and vomits out a stream of paranoid, delusional horse-shit of the kind that would have got you locked up in a nut-house fifty years ago. Particularly mental is his insistence that our world leaders are shape-shifting lizards. Yep; the Queen and Prince Phillip; David Cameron, Barack Obama; even Willie Nelson - they're all lizards. Now, in my opinion, that comes second only to claiming you're Napoleon Bonaparte on the nutter scale.
Where I take real issue is that he offers no proof of his outlandish claims. He just serves up anything from six to nine hours of mind-numbing waffle in which he basically says, "This is the way it is. I'm telling you this. I'm not going to give you proof, though I recommend you read one of my many books, all of which I will suggest to you time after time, and if you don't get it then that's your problem. If you don't get it you must be a bloody idiot, because this is not a game."
That's another thing. He preaches infinite love; infinite patience; but woe betide anyone who questions him, because he gets very aggressive and will tell you you're a bloody idiot.
That is, unless you're Jesse Ventura, the ex-Navy Seal and wrestler. When he came up against Jesse, and Jesse was pushing him for answers and proof, Icke looked tiny and visibly scared. Gone was the bombastic "This is how it is" big-bollocked snake-oil peddler. The aggressive "you're an idiot if you don't get it" reptile-hater had left the building to go out and find some Iguanas to give them a good kicking. All that was left was this small, frightened old man with an ignored lap-top and a hair style so bad it makes the people at L'Oreal cry.
Here's the link to that little tete-a-tete. I highly recommend it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg_3cTH16dQ
Another issue I have with this turquoise Buddha is that he spouts all this crap like a faulty sewer, making all kinds of mental assertions without any proof, and telling us all "the way it is", and that we need to open our eyes and see things the way they really are. But he doesn't give even the tiniest clue as to how we do that. He just quotes the Hollywood Movie, The Matrix, as if it's the bible, and the character of Morpheus is a kind of Moses figure. He claims the whole world is just an illusion; a type of light, and that we must all see the real world. Great. Super. Wonderful. But how the fuck do we do that, David? You might as well sit us in the cockpit of a plane and say, "right; fly me to India". Fine; I'm sure we'd all love to oblige; but HOW THE FUCK DO WE DO IT, DAVID???
My final issue with the venerable Mr Icke is a personal one. It's the way he talks. He's like some bad eighties radio DJ pronouncing "T" as "D". He talks about his "compuder", and how he used to be a member of the Green "pardy". Argh. He sounds like a dwad; or a dosser. Talk properly you fucking did.
Er; I think that's about all on David Icke.
Rant over.
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