Grumpy Old Man

I'll be forty later this year, and according to my daughter, this makes me ancient. I've noticed that I'm becoming more grumpy as I get older. Things seem to be bothering me more and more.
Nobhead drivers are one of my worst irritations - those people who just pull out on you, who turn without signalling, and ignore road signs that clearly give you the right of way. One of these days, I would love to drive my car into the back of one of those idiots that pull out on me, just to upset him as he has upset me.

Katie Price is another one - Why can't she just FUCK OFF!!!!!!
I'm sick of seeing her stupid face on the television and the front of magazines every day. I'm not interested in her stupid life and fame addiction. The only thing she's really famous for anyway is getting her tits out as the model named Jordan. So what? Buy The Sun newspaper every day - or just search Google - and you'll get all the tits you want (including David Cameron).

People who nick my parking space: I hate my neighbours' daughters. Every time they visit, they nick my parking space outside my house if I'm not there, so I have to park across the road. They even come out and move their car into my spot if I go out while they're visiting. There's a lamppost next to my parking spot which was once knocked over by a joyrider - why couldn't he have knocked it onto one of their cars? There is just no justice in the world.

Teenagers who walk slowly across the road and force you to brake. Aaaargh!!! Little shits! You're driving along and one of these little turds crosses the road as slow as an arthritic old woman, looking arrogantly at you as you are forced to put the brakes on. "ooh," they're saying. "look how hard I am."
Well, you're not harder than a ton of metal and plastic coming at you at thirty miles an hour you little bastard!
I think we should be allowed to run them over when they do it. They certainly wouldn't do it again, I can promise you that.

Television adverts: They drive me insane. They are so bloody stupid. There a few that I can't even watch, and have to turn over when they come on. My current most hated are "we buy any car", "118-247", and "Take a Break". I think it's the fact that they have these annoying little songs in them. They're the kind of songs that make me want to tear my ears off and puncture my eardrums with a cocktail stick. Why can't advertisers just say what they want and then bugger off? Why can't they just say, "Hey, we're selling this; do you want it or not?"

There are many more, but I'll post them as time goes on.